The way to my heart? It's very simple. You should know how to make me orgasm so hard. Your tongue must be an expert in pleasuring my clit while your hands are pinching my nipples and caressing my breasts.

Spotting a man in uniform, even if it's just pretending, makes me randy on another level. Maybe all gals have had the wet dreams of making a dignified gent to fall onto his knees. Or maybe that's just me.

I have recently broke up with my boyfriend because his size is not enough to satisfy my lust. Size does matter to me, so if you don't have that huge penis, don't bother sending me a message. If you have what I've been yearning to have, message me rig...

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

Me: 30-year-old female with a generally positive outlook on life, living alone, no piercing, zero tattoos, one car, one cat, and one (slightly used) vagina.

As a needy and extremely naughty lady, of course, I want to find a bloke who can satisfy all my needs including the sexual ones. I also want to find the kind of bloke who can ride on with the naughty thoughts in my head.